Kindly click on the play button before reading the main article. I intentionally included this video to add up to the emotions i have now.
I am presently listening to Yiruma’s ‘Kiss the Rain’. As every part of its melody plunge down deep in my sensation, im becoming sentimental. With its melancholic sound, flashbacks come running in my remembrance. I close my eyes for awhile and from nowhere I see familiar faces. Faces of bliss and celebration, moments of cheers and salutations. Without a doubt I knew from my heart, those were the days of my four years in high school. Now, we all have different paths to stroll. Away from each other we should learn how to stall. The world is moving, we are not in control. Though it’s hard to let go of the wonderful things we’ve shared together, we must continue with the lives we have right now.
Here, nostalgic again, looking around every spot in this place, staring blankly on every trace of memory there is in this room, there’s only one word I have in mind. Einstein. I found in this group the true meaning of friendship. I learned from them the essence of trust. I saw from them the different phases of reality. I felt from them the sense of belongingness. I understood from them the essence of loyalty. Although “The section of the Rebels” as we were labeled, still firmly I’ll say, I am proud of them. They can never be compared to anything for they are remarkably unique. We built a good company, a strong league and a happy family. We were able to show everybody our own version of teen angst. And putting together all of these, we were one great team. We were oftentimes despised by our own alma mater; we were misunderstood and were easily judged. But despite of every wrong presumption against us, still in the end, we proved them we’re winners. Yes there were times we acted wild and disobedient, but at the end of the day, whose section do the teachers say they are really proud of? Aren’t ours? Upon being continuously challenged and deprived, we became one and fixed on our stand. Thanks to them for bringing the best out of us. Because if not for the circumstances we had, our section will not last. It was great being a part of this class. Honored to share the journey of this batch. Barkada, tropa, or however we call our “samahan”, the conclusion is one: directly from the heart, we built a matchless bond.
I remember the days when we used to hang-out, chill the whole room with our chuckles and knacks. We laugh about everything, do the same stuffs together, share the warmth of every victory, and comfort our companion over despair. Every day I spend with them is another page in my chronicle.
I can’t deny the drama I feel inside. Because every scene of joy that no word can describe, is forever engraved in heart. The loneliness and longing I feel today will continually be a shadow of my past. My dear Einstein, you are the delight of my past, the strength of my present and the light of my future. In you I found a kind of friendship that will remain till the end.
I have been trapped in this inescapable feeling, missing the moments of emotional attachments. I miss the corner where I used to sit. The blackboard where I used to write. The locker that housed my things. The conference room where we spent our leisure times. The college application forms we were so busy filling out. The gym where we played. The playground where I broke a log. The lobby where we call for Jollibee delivery. The fetcher’s area where we greet each other ‘good morning’. The ramp where we sang our songs. The colored bleachers where we sit when we wait for the flag ceremony. I miss the laughter and I miss the cries. I miss the dramas and I miss the fights. I miss the hugs and the smiles.
If only I could bring back the times when we were so young and gay, still dwelling in the world of our own fairytales. If only I could, I would. But the story has a twist, it must be pursued. That certain ‘world’ is a puzzle where each of us represents a piece. Please don’t forget to look back when your way seems so narrow. Bring back the spring time when you first learned to love and be loved.
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Indeed, life is like a paper where passers-by leave a mark. My sketch pad is colored with giggles and charms. ;]
Till then.....
-SeReNe-
Labels: memoirs, nostalgia.
First of all, let me introduce what my title is all about. Circadian rhythm, according to my Psychology book is a “24-hour-long cycle influenced by the sun and followed by sleep-wakefulness”. It is usually termed as the body’s biological clock.
During our three-week sembreak, I was actually not having enough sleep. It’s so ironic because I should have gotten my longest sleep during these times but instead, I was so indulged in a lot of stuffs that I didn’t have to care if I sleep early or not. Too bad, it’ll end soon. Next Monday is the start of the next semester. I’ll be heading again to another months of procrastination and indolence. [hahaha] Well, maybe not really. Just a bite of whatever will happen. I will be catching up to my daily routine cause it was temporarily altered during the vacation.
My circadian rhythm actually revolves in a system of redundancies. Waking up, eating breakfast, going to school, studying, going home, having a meal, finishing homework, visiting my accounts and finally going to sleep. Tomorrow, same thing goes in the cycle.
Last night, I was having a difficulty in sleeping. Regardless of the external cues around me; the ambience of the night, the sounds of the insects and even the lullabies telling me to close my eyes, still I couldn’t get to sleep! I was kind of bothered because my body is not anymore following the right time of sleeping. The earliest sleep I had this week is around 12 am. And after at least 5 to 6 hours of rest, a long period of wakefulness again.
The disruption caused by the inconsistent intervals of my sleeping time brought a slight modification in my habitual past time. Well I guess that’s just a part of the sembreak ennui. Aside from stepping out of the borderline, I tend to break the craze to make the most out of the'3-week rest'. Anyway, coping up is never a problem with me. It's just that my 'coping abilities' require me to stop some things that i have been accustomed to do. [sigh]
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Lesson Learned: Inconsistencies make you unstable in all your actions. =[
Till then.....
-SeReNe-
During our three-week sembreak, I was actually not having enough sleep. It’s so ironic because I should have gotten my longest sleep during these times but instead, I was so indulged in a lot of stuffs that I didn’t have to care if I sleep early or not. Too bad, it’ll end soon. Next Monday is the start of the next semester. I’ll be heading again to another months of procrastination and indolence. [hahaha] Well, maybe not really. Just a bite of whatever will happen. I will be catching up to my daily routine cause it was temporarily altered during the vacation.
My circadian rhythm actually revolves in a system of redundancies. Waking up, eating breakfast, going to school, studying, going home, having a meal, finishing homework, visiting my accounts and finally going to sleep. Tomorrow, same thing goes in the cycle.
Last night, I was having a difficulty in sleeping. Regardless of the external cues around me; the ambience of the night, the sounds of the insects and even the lullabies telling me to close my eyes, still I couldn’t get to sleep! I was kind of bothered because my body is not anymore following the right time of sleeping. The earliest sleep I had this week is around 12 am. And after at least 5 to 6 hours of rest, a long period of wakefulness again.
The disruption caused by the inconsistent intervals of my sleeping time brought a slight modification in my habitual past time. Well I guess that’s just a part of the sembreak ennui. Aside from stepping out of the borderline, I tend to break the craze to make the most out of the'3-week rest'. Anyway, coping up is never a problem with me. It's just that my 'coping abilities' require me to stop some things that i have been accustomed to do. [sigh]
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Lesson Learned: Inconsistencies make you unstable in all your actions. =[
Till then.....
-SeReNe-
Labels: faulty results, fickle-mindedness.
Whenever i write in this blog, it feels like im talking to myself. Expressing my thoughts and even revealing a bit of my secret is a part of this 'posting process'. But as of this moment, i have nothing in mind to share. [hahaha] Maybe it's because of the experience i had this morning (of which i am not willing to tell). ;pp I only have this essay i found on my folder that i wrote before the end of the semester. I'll just place it here so you have something to read. ;pp
WARNING: you are about to read something that is not informative, not even interesting. [hahaha] just for the sake of having something to post. tsk. ;p
In the land of make-believe, every person has the right to control or create the best of every thought they have. I’m not a certified doodler. But I sure am an approved daydreamer. There has been so much of today that I wouldn’t even want to sit in front of my computer and start writing something about anything that enters my mind. But here am I, still in my P.E. uniform, dressed quite haggard, chatting with my ‘not-in-the-mood’ friend Angle, hearing a very disturbing sound of the television, my cell phone being charged, my back inclining in the invisible ‘lean-on’ pad and ultimately, writing this unexpected essay. The negative ideologies I have in mind brought much confusion to my morality touching even the point of my convictions and sentiments. I have doubted my intellect for having so much of my questions left unanswered. It seems to me that everyone has his own way of escaping reality. Their unconsciousness brings them to where they can possibly live up to the expectations of the people around them. Well, admittedly, mine proves me otherwise. My dreams, my imaginations, and everything about my well-being brought me somewhere in a corner of my head wherein I find it inescapable. I have gone so far with the story I am making of myself to the point that it feels like I’m stuck into it. Sounds crazy right? This might be hard to believe but I am wandering deep beyond my ingenuity. My awareness of the present world is temporarily absent. These notions have I often put into subjection for further reflection of my fallacies. A concept of every belief I have does not in any way compliment even a piece of my individuality. I am a human biology student. It is very much expected of me to know how the mind works and how our thoughts occupy much space inside. In fact, I have a Psychology subject. And in all fairness, I am learning so much. Setting aside all of my personal opinions, I must say that indeed, humans are acting in accordance to the urge of their instincts. I must also say, with due respect, that whatever a man thinks is a mirror of his virtues in life. From all the things I learned, both inside the house and the secular world, I had a meaningful understanding of the significance of having a dream. Dream in a sense that you are foreseeing yourself in the future fulfilled in the endeavor you have long worked hard for. But as the saying goes, “For Every Rule, There is Always an Exemption”. Dreaming or having a vision is not bad. But be careful, because sometimes, wrong motives and ‘off-the-beam’ desires intervene leading you to a different outcome that is completely different from what you have expected. [Hope you got my point]
Here, I have cooked up a fresh snapshot of my latest ‘out-of-this-world’ thoughts that led me to a realization of my own insanities.
I want to tour the world without the thought of loosing chances and the fear of wasting time. I want to live the epitome of what life is all about and what it has in store for me. I want to fly and touch the clouds just as safe enough not to risk the situation of being between life and death. I want to join the dolphins and drown in the depth and vastness of the sea. I want to gather the stars and be able to form an artwork in the sky. I want to make Saturn a place where mankind may dwell. I want to live a life good enough to realize its limitations with a feeling of acceptance and on the other hand realize that life is better in reality than in dreams. I want to meet a famous person from the past and be able to steal even just a piece of his works and make it mine. I want to personally meet a penguin in the Antarctic and have a photo with him. I want to ride a personalized hot air balloon architected by Rmie Malit. I want to have a music studio where I can jam with Angle Jarlos. I want to sing and perform in a theater abroad directed by my sister. I want to invent a machine wherein I can manipulate every technology-related crafts. Ultimately, I want to have a clone of myself.
Well, just for the sake of compensating my nonsensible side, here I also wrote an overview of my dreams that I want to go through with and satisfy the highest level of the hierarchy of needs which is self-fulfillment.
Here, I have cooked up a fresh snapshot of my latest ‘out-of-this-world’ thoughts that led me to a realization of my own insanities.
I want to tour the world without the thought of loosing chances and the fear of wasting time. I want to live the epitome of what life is all about and what it has in store for me. I want to fly and touch the clouds just as safe enough not to risk the situation of being between life and death. I want to join the dolphins and drown in the depth and vastness of the sea. I want to gather the stars and be able to form an artwork in the sky. I want to make Saturn a place where mankind may dwell. I want to live a life good enough to realize its limitations with a feeling of acceptance and on the other hand realize that life is better in reality than in dreams. I want to meet a famous person from the past and be able to steal even just a piece of his works and make it mine. I want to personally meet a penguin in the Antarctic and have a photo with him. I want to ride a personalized hot air balloon architected by Rmie Malit. I want to have a music studio where I can jam with Angle Jarlos. I want to sing and perform in a theater abroad directed by my sister. I want to invent a machine wherein I can manipulate every technology-related crafts. Ultimately, I want to have a clone of myself.
Well, just for the sake of compensating my nonsensible side, here I also wrote an overview of my dreams that I want to go through with and satisfy the highest level of the hierarchy of needs which is self-fulfillment.
I dream of becoming a medical doctor and a political personality at the same time. I dream of being the best of every role I portray in my life. I dream of fulfilling other’s dream by the testimony of my life. I dream of saving a life of someone who’s in the lowest ebb of desperation. I dream of surrendering my life to the One who gave it to me. I dream of becoming the best of what I can be. I dream of establishing a league of doctors to build up a foundation for the less fortunate. I dream of influencing and changing someone’s life completely. I dream of overcoming the worst part of my personality. I dream of reaching the finish line on time. I dream of running this race with grace and patience. I dream of leaving a godly legacy. Ultimately, I dream of winning the smile of God.
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Woah! Thanks for the patience! ;p
I actually wrote this essay weeks ago just for the purpose of killing time.
Though my reason is not a good one, i still find it profitable. [am i too ironic?] ;p
Anyway, im glad i didnt have to say much. [hahaha]
Till then.....
-SeReNe-
Within the core of human wisdom, it is of much evidence that we cannot comprehend every phenomenon occurring roundabout the scope of this world. "Just right after where the soles of your feet are fixed, mysteries lie underneath".
Scientific study wise, decades have been spent unveiling the truth about the origin of the earth. Unfortunately, it is still an argument today on how the world began. We do not realize that before we know it, the end has come. We are too busy figuring out how it started, without actually knowing that the end is at hand. "Every answer can be questioned. But not every question can be answered".
Natural disasters, catastrophic events, earthquakes, devastating tsunamis, -were they not mentioned as “signs” of the earth’s destruction in the bible? In Matthew 24:1-8, the Bible speaks of the signs preceding.
Scientific study wise, decades have been spent unveiling the truth about the origin of the earth. Unfortunately, it is still an argument today on how the world began. We do not realize that before we know it, the end has come. We are too busy figuring out how it started, without actually knowing that the end is at hand. "Every answer can be questioned. But not every question can be answered".
Natural disasters, catastrophic events, earthquakes, devastating tsunamis, -were they not mentioned as “signs” of the earth’s destruction in the bible? In Matthew 24:1-8, the Bible speaks of the signs preceding.
“And as he sat upon the mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world? And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many. And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places...”
I have been solemnly thinking about what’s going to happen in the next three to ten years. Many have predicted about the exact time of Jesus’ coming. Bible Scholars believe that the time will be based on a certain calendar (I forgot the term they use to refer to the timetable). As a Christian, or should I say a ‘person who grew up in church’, I am familiar with a number of preaching lessons concerning the second coming.
You might be wondering now why im saying all of these. It’s because, as I see it, the world is not getting any better. Look around. Be open-minded. The world does not just revolve in your life. Go outside. See the people suffering. Be moved with compassion. We are declining economically and morally. Let these realities plunge in to your consciousness. We are so busy with our own businesses forgetting and neglecting the problems we have to face. We were warned. It was foretold. Be careful and wake up.
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My mind setting tonight is quite indescribable and dramatic. Do I sound awful? [hahahaha] I haven’t written anything like this before so I guess it’s just part of my linguistics’ wit. Kidding aside, I would like to clarify that what I have stated above about the prophecies are all true. They are facts based on the Bible. I might write another article like this next week because I am planning to compile all my writings by category. [hahaha] ;p Well, I have nothing more to say. Tomorrow again. Or maybe later if I get bored. xP
Till then…..
-SeReNe-
Labels: downfall, random thoughts.
This is my very first entry to this blog. Thanks to ANGLEBERT JARLOS who helped me make this blogging possible. [hahahaha] ;p Honestly, im not used to posting any of my writings in the net. Although i was a writer in my previous school, i only write news articles. Im not fond of updating any online journals or anything like this. But anyway, i was convinced to try this out. xP Minutes ago, i thought of writing something about what happened during the day. For an unknown reason, my mind was shifted to composing a poem. And when i was initially starting to write, the word "revolution" popped up in my mind. I began to modify the insights i have. So, here it is. ;]
The -ION Revolution
"Break the Habit"
I am staring at the unfolding dawn
My eyes fixed on the horizon
Both the loud and soft screams of confusion
Slowly attending to my sensation
I stood and observed this kind of pollution
Killing and enslaving my poor, helpless nation
I saw the wrath of graft and corruption
Where the only language known is discrimination
How long will you stay in your twilight zone?
Hiding in the braveless shadows of the halfmoon
One thing that could save this generation
Is this pretty trick in our conversation
Please help me escape from this empty vision
And instead give importance to this burning passion
Conquering the deviants of my perception
Is a huge step towards reformation
Absence of dignity and moral degradation
I desire to destroy with desperation
Served before you is this great mission
All you have to do is to think of an action
The whole society is buried in humiliation
As the authorities are put into question
Running with no pure intention
Effortlessly placed in the position
Focused mainly to the possession
Everyone seems to join the competition
Promises unfulfilled is the product of their obsession
Overstepping the boundaries of their limitation
Some in their innocence are drowned in poison
Come nearing to the warnings of destruction
Awaken the Filipino youth and send the delegation
Onward to the place of reconstruction
Break the habit and be in full concentration
What matters now is to work for the solution
Moving forward is the only solution
The whole country is a part of the decision
Start to kill the devastation
Or else kill the only hope of salvation
Tired of this sickening circulation
Let's just close the negotiation
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Another result of my combined boredom and productivity.
It's 12:38 am in my clock. Hours have been spent for this poem.
Lights are turned off. My senses say i should sleep but my mind insists to write more.
I guess i should continue this tomorrow.
Till then.....
-SeReNe-
Labels: half-asleep, half-awake.
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tied up.
